Grateful Child

2011-01-18T12:49:00.002+08:00

This Chinese New Year is really a year that I look forward to. Before CNY I will be going Shen Zhen and Macau with Fang Lao Shi. Will be back just in time for reunion dinner. Day 4 of CNY my mum is opening our hse for guests. This is the 1st time she does this cuz every year she wun be in Singapore.

Day 5 is the day where I look forward the most. I'm going back to bintan for a time of relaxation. I can't imagine how will it be when all guys come together and stay in 1 villa. So far for the planning is great. Had our food testing last Friday and what I can say is totally awesome. Right now we are planning for are the activities that we are going to do in Bintan.

Paintball, Go Kart, tanning, cook, eat, music, games and most imptly, the pple who are going there. muahahhaha. But I just wish that someone else could be there and enjoy everything with me. Oh well, guess I just need to look forward and not backwards.

2010-11-29T10:44:00.002+08:00

juz realised that you are never forgotten. there are still a lot of memories that can never be forgotten. I couldnt help but just to think of it. Was watching some show heard some songs and in my mind u have always been in the pic.

perhaps i'm silly or what, i'm still waiting for the day of ur return. am still trying to find out abt ur whereabouts. i've tried to move on but i juz couldnt step in. i really long for the day for ur return and embrace me. to give u what i've been preparing for u over the months.

****** **** i still love u and i miss u too

2010-08-16T16:14:00.001+08:00

Secret Place

God of my life I love You
God of my days I trust in You
Living beneath the shelter of Your wings
My heart's safe

When I am lost you found me
When I'm in need you shelter me
Lord of my life You are my secret place

Clothe me in Your presence Lord
Draw me near to You
Lord my heart I long to give to You
Living to be near You Lord
I long to see Your face
Lord forever You're my secret place

2010-03-23T16:02:00.001+08:00

needs to be ministered again...

2010-02-06T13:48:00.000+08:00

Had cell ytd and was leading glorify... Before The whole cell started, weiwen pop up a remark: "eh! How come u know tat we are singing this song?" immediately I know tat it's really the song tat God wanna speak into the pple's life...

So we combine glorify wif overcomers... Wad I can say is tat God is indeed moving... As I was leading, I could sense tat God is molding the character and the hearts of everyone... It was really the easiest time I've ever so far...

I pray tat this will happen every week during cell and tat would really impact the cell and cause the cell to grow...

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2009-12-08T09:13:00.002+08:00

i juz realise something abt me... i cant really sing well... but i still wanna thank God for using me to touch his pple... i was going thru the vids tat i was singing over the past 2 mths... and i realise tat some parts i actually went flat... still wanna thank God for his grace over my life...

2009-11-22T00:23:00.002+08:00

A thousand times I've failed
Still Your mercy remains
Should I stumble again
Still I'm caught in Your grace
Everlasting, Your light will shine
When all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself
In bringing You praise
Everlasting, Your light will shine
When all else fades

My heart and my soul
I give You control
Consume me from the inside out, Lord
Let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Everlasting, Your light will shine
When all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart
Is to bring You praise
From the inside out
Lord my soul cries out

As i was talking to my colleague today, i was filled wif graditude... i never felt it until he reminded me abt it... we were talking abt opportunities, talents and giftings... he was saying this, God has been molding my talents and giftings and He has been planning all these while... when he said it, i was controlling my tears becoz he made me recognise that it is the hands of God who is doing this all these while... what i am today is not a coincident... when jayden asked me to music story, i hesitated, but i obliged... i really thank God for all that He's done in my life... helping me unleash my potential to the utmost... LOVE YA GOD!!!

2009-11-20T08:49:00.002+08:00

last nite was really a very happy nite for me... becoz it's really been a long time since i chatted wif u... u have been really busy even until now... but at least it was a good catch up last nite... really look forward to meet up wif u next sun... hopefully u will be there for my competition becoz i'm singing ur fave band's song and this song is dedicated for u...

i know u 2 are really proud of me and i really feel blessed wif the 2 of u in my life... giving me all the support, encouragements... i really feel loved by the both of u... nv regretted u 2 being my kors... love u guys...

2009-11-05T08:49:00.002+08:00

woohoo... last nite was really woohoo... haha... went for lesson... good thing my voice and everything came back... cuz last week i was really sick until very jia lat... couldnt sing at all... but according to my teacher, i shld be able to score very high marks for my competition...

and another thing is tat i'm going thru training now from next week onwards... instead of 1 hr lesson every week, i will be going for a 2 hr lesson... and i pay for the same price... the 1st hr, i will be having my own lesson wif my instructor and the 2nd i will be having training wif my sch principle...

in 2010 is really gonna be an exciting year for me... cuz i'm switching job... to smth that i have nv done it b4... i'm gonna be a vocal instructor and a singer in music cafe... it's gonna be a new thing for me... so i really look forward to 2010...

2009-10-29T01:11:00.002+08:00

argh.... i hate being sick... cant perform to my best... today went for lesson wif blocked nose and cough... i was really the worse day of the week... cant really sing properly... got slap up down left right... out of tune... cant hear myself very clearly... made the mistakes tat i shouldnt have made...

last sun i had a very eventful day... had my singing competition and i received very good comments from the judges... and i'm oso the top scorer of that grp... 26/30... moving towards semi on the 29nov... will leave the rest tml... too tired to blog alrdy
tml still have to work... sian tmm...

2009-10-22T03:24:00.002+08:00

woohoo... it's 330am in the morning and i still cant sleep... well... alot of things really happen in my life tat i'm really very happy... i think my opportunity has come... this is the moment...

today had class as usual... and today i'm juz preparing for the upcoming competition on this sun... for the past few weeks i've been pissed off by myself for not singing properly... not up to the standard that i always have... i almost lost the passion for singing... but today i juz told myself tat i wanna sing my own style... sing out my own feelings... and in the end i nailed it...

the 2nd thing is tat after class i went to the pantry to top up my water and jayden was wif me... as i was topping up my water, he was playing wif the hamster in the sch... and suddenly the sch principle, fang zhong hua came out from the toilet... so he started talking to us and there he said to me... can see tat u can really sing well... do u wanna teach singing? i was stunned at the moment... and he continued... u can improve ur singing as u teach... like me... the reason why i can sing well is becoz i teach others how to sing... u can start teaching the children 1st... i will train u... i was really stunned... becoz i nv expect tat one day i will be teaching others how to sing... nv expect tat pple will call me teacher one day... nv expect tat i'm gonna have a instructor profile in the sch web page...

i really excited for the days ahead... but i'm really excited for later... woohoo... dave and mervin are coming back from maldives... cant wait to tell this to them...

2009-10-14T10:54:00.002+08:00

my plans... arghhhhhhhhh.... changed... have to replan again... hopefully this time works... my heart actually sank at that point of time... oh well...

haha... these 2 days i've been receiving surprises... on mon, after work wanted to meet merv to go back home together and wanted to give him a surprise visit at his shop but when i went there he wasnt ard... so went out of the shop and wanted to call him... but in the end i saw him and dave together... i was surprise becoz i didnt expect dave to be there as he has reservist...

ytd... suppose to play vball wif the both of them... but in the end i spent most of the time chatting on the phone with a few pple... after tat i wanted to go off alrdy... but dave pulled me to one corner to talk to me... after talking i was ok alrdy... then after tat merv brought the news tat their maldives trip resume... my heart sank for a moment... cuz when they say tat they are not flying, the next day i went to prepare everything for dave's bdae alrdy... ordered the cake and planned wif everyone alrdy... and in front of everyone i was emo...but at least i know there are still pple care abt me...

2009-09-22T23:16:00.002+08:00

i'm really tired... tired from everything... tired from putting a mask in front of many pple... tired of making pple worried abt me... it has nv been the same without you ard since wad happened 1 week ago... when pple ask me wad happen... i really dunno how to ans... i'm really tired of faking a smile in front of others esp when it comes to work... pls come back... dun go... i really dun wanna see u being upset... makes me feel upset too...

2009-08-18T10:42:00.002+08:00

yippi.... cant wait for today... it will be a new beginning for joseph heng... new phone... new image... i hope... i'm going shopping wif a new fren from holland... and it is so cool cuz i'm his 1st sg fren... i'm juz really excited... woohoo...

2009-07-28T20:31:00.002+08:00

on the journey of recovery... had been sick since sat... it's not nice at all to be sick and u cant do anything at all... during these few days i was lying down on my bed doing nth but juz sleep... it was really sian ttm... juz wanna share abt what i felt during the hillsong concert...

well... i could say that hillsong united band is really good... they really flow wif each other very well... they communicated well during the whole worship session... they know when to change song etc etc... but one thing i was quite upset abt is tat the pple who went, mostly is juz to see hillsong band and not worshipping God... i was questioning myself... this fri, during FOP will the pple still worship God when all the popular bands are not ministering... becoz wad God really longs for is our heart... our heart of worship...

tml i'm going for a wedding dinner... heheh... hopefully the food will be good... =p

2009-07-24T07:23:00.006+08:00

Absolute Campus Camp 2009 part 2~

Absolute E... ABSOLUTELY ELECTRICFYING!!! yea... that's my grp name... as i said before, campus camp is very different from ignyte camps or any other camps i've been before... here are the things that we have done...

day 1; the game that we played was amazing race... we went to the streets not juz only to perform tasks, but oso to reach out to pple... these are some of the pple that we reach out to on that day...

in one of the stations we have to perform some task... to look for things tat are there but they are not suppose to be there... i came across this picture...

day 2 we played the game of life... I've learnt that in life we have many paths to go... be it doing missions, doing further studies, getting a PhD, getting jobs etc... we need to learn how to priortise and manage our life... oso in life, we may face some obstacles... we need to depend on God and on pple to help us along the way...

day 3 we went to do care acts in one of the elderly's home... u know is like those on tv who stays in those 1 room flat one... we went to clean their homes... thank God tat her home is not really that dirty... if not i dunno how to clean or clean half way i will see cockroach i will scream...

overall i can say that campus camp is really alot very different from ignyte camps... i cant wait for the next campus camp... i will be the 1st to sign up...

2009-07-23T16:48:00.002+08:00

Absolute Campus Camp 2009 part 1~

juz came back from campus camp... it was really a very different church camps i've ever attended... initially i didnt wanna go for camp cuz of other commitments and oso even when the commitment was over, i didnt really wanna go... but i heard from God that this camp will impact my life... so i sign up...

2 weeks ago, sis diana emailed the campus camp worship team... the 1st jam, i wasnt ready to jam and p.gary scolded the whole team... he wanted the team to declare a meal fast but he and p.vic will not fast becoz they are not in the campus... at that time i felt tat something's gonna take place... so fasted for 1 week and God began to reveal things in my life which i find it hard to give up and surrender it unto God... i battled it for tat whole week...

during 1st day of camp in the morning service, i was serving and fran was leading worship... during the time of free worship i juz felt tat God was leading us to surrender to Him and i sense tat God wants to speak thru this song Glory Of Ur Grace... at that time the atmosphere was building up and i wanted to sing the chorus of that song... it was really amazing i will say... cuz i was juz focusing in worship that i didnt look at fran in wad she wanna do... but i wanted to sing the 1st word out alrdy and she sang it oso... this is my very 1st encounter...

ytd afternoon had the same encounter wif p.vic... i sensed tat God is moving in these 2 songs, I Will Have No Other Gods and Lord I give my all and p.vic sang those 2 songs...

last nite, i was called last min to serve cuz fran cant serve... i was telling myself tat wah die... not prepared... then when i reach the service hall for jam, i was asking christal and she told me tat they haven jam anything, i began more and more panic... i decided to set aside everything to really pray and seek God and juz allowing God to work in my life...

during free worship suddenly, p.vic stops singing... i didnt dare sing out becoz i always depend on the worship leader to do the work... but i juz couldnt kept quiet and i juz sang songs of worship... so i juz sang... and p.vic juz felt very strong in wad God wanna do in the ministry thru me... i didnt care wad pple wanna say abt me i juz wad i felt...

during evaluation, p.vic affirmed me... and he ask me to join CM and he said tat he can see me being a worship leader... when i heard it, i was quite skeptical abt it... i was like i dun think i can do it la... chose wrong person alrdy... but after talking to some pple, they juz reminded me of wad i've prayed before camp... so maybe it's a confirmation... juz pray alongside wif me as i approach p.vic...

2009-07-20T03:42:00.002+08:00

am i doing the right thing at all? bringing them together is it a mistake? it started off well but why? why does all these have to happen? frenships are ruined, trust in frens are broken, trust in own loved one is broken too... too many things had happen in juz 5 days... at 1st 2 pple were happy but now, everyone's unhappy... it's my 2nd nite tat i'm still awake at this time... when i'm suppose to be sleeping cuz campus camp is juz a few hrs away... i'm really not in the mood of camp alrdy... juz this 5 days too many things had happen... i'm very sry to those pple tat are involved... if i had nv come in, none of this would have ever happened... the 5 of u would still be very happy...

2009-07-16T23:16:00.003+08:00

路上行人匆匆过
没有人会回头看一眼
我只是个流着泪走在大街上的陌生人

如今我对你来说
也只不过是个陌生人
看见我走在雨里
你也不会再为我心痛

曾经心痛为何变成陌生
我只想要和你一起飞翔
管它地久天长
只要曾经拥有
我是真的这么想
曾经心疼为何变成陌生
爱情就像人生不能重来
有些道理我懂
可是真正面对
教我如何放得下

i'm really struggling... what the world gives and wad God gives are very different... i wan wad the world have but i dun wanna to give up... can i be greedy for once? can i have the best of both worlds? i'm ready to accept that person tat can unlock that lock in my heart... sigh~~~

2009-07-16T01:14:00.001+08:00

i think i have done something very wrong...

2009-07-13T00:57:00.004+08:00

today when i was on my way home, i heard a voice tat asks me to read Psalm 63 and so i did... as i was reading, verse 3 it appeared very strongly to me... "Your love is better than life"... God's love is greater than everything else in this world... cuz recently, i've been placing the wrong focus in my life... wanting to search for a r/s and neglected my r/s wif God... and after blogging abt wad p.victor shared, i was inspired to read even more... and psalm 63 was part 2 of wad God spoke to me thru p.vic...

2009-07-12T00:06:00.002+08:00

Had my 1st campus camp jam today... God was speaking to me thru p.victor... in 1st samuel 3...

1 The boy Samuel ministered before the LORD under Eli. In those days the word of the LORD was rare; there were not many visions.
2 One night Eli, whose eyes were becoming so weak that he could barely see, was lying down in his usual place. 3 The lamp of God had not yet gone out, and Samuel was lying down in the temple [a] of the LORD, where the ark of God was. 4 Then the LORD called Samuel. Samuel answered, "Here I am." 5 And he ran to Eli and said, "Here I am; you called me." But Eli said, "I did not call; go back and lie down." So he went and lay down.
6 Again the LORD called, "Samuel!" And Samuel got up and went to Eli and said, "Here I am; you called me." "My son," Eli said, "I did not call; go back and lie down."
7 Now Samuel did not yet know the LORD : The word of the LORD had not yet been revealed to him.

in verse 1 it says tat samuel was ministering before God. But, in verse 7 it says tat samuel did not yet know the Lord. we can be serving without knowing... which is very dangerous becoz we will be serving for the sake of serving... which reminds me that we always have to renew our r/s with God... Which draws us to our TAWG... we need to let the WOG to be sink into our hearts... only thru TAWG, our r/s wif God will grow...

2009-06-30T15:49:00.002+08:00

i dun care how u will respond to this... though i know that u will nv see this at all... i am who i am... i am Joseph Heng Jun Lun... if u wanna compare me with someone else... make him or her ur son!!! cuz this is wad i like to do... u cant make me do something that i dun like at all... rem... i am Joseph Heng Jun Lun, not Chris, not james nor anyone... if u think tat i'm a failure to u then so be it... i dun need to prove to u at all... i juz wanna do wad i like to do... if u dun support me then too bad... cuz i'm still ur son...

2009-06-23T01:06:00.002+08:00

was just looking at some photos in FB... brings me back to the past memories... esp the bintan trip... it got me and some other pple closer... really alot closer... and some of them whom i dun really know them i got to know them more in the trip... so, outings are really the best times where u can bond wif the pple ard u...

the enemy is really good in pulling pple down... he knows our strengths and weaknesses as well... on sat night when i reached home... i dunno why i became super emo... juz thinking tat i will be leaving the pple whom i have been imparting... and i began to tear... it took me like 1 whole nite to realise tat it is actually the work of the enemy who is trying to make me stop serving God... but i really thank God that He pulled me back...

mr s.a. tan, i rebuke u in the name of Jesus that u will not have a foot hold in my life... u will not pull me away from Jesus... becoz nth can break the r/s between me and Jesus...

2009-06-20T23:26:00.002+08:00

so many things to thank God for today... it was really an eventful morning for mark and myself... i shall start from wad happen last nite...

after the revival meeting at PL, mark and i decided to go for dinner/supper cuz we were really hungry... after eating we went to the bus stop and i found out that we missed our last bus... so we took a cab to mark's place bus stop then i could take a bus from there... not long after i reached the bus stop, my bus juz appear rite in front of my sight and i couldnt have the time to flag it... and so i waited for the next bus...

as i was waiting, i looked to my right and i saw mark was standing at the overhead bridge and he showed me a sign to go to him... he told me that he couldnt find his phone... so i tried calling his phone but he couldnt felt that vibration of his phone in the bag... so immediately i called comfort to report lost... after calling his phone 3 times, the driver finally picked up the phone... he told me that he's picking up a passenger and he will only pass to me the phone when he's ard that area or i pay the cab fare then he deliver it to me... i spoke to mark and he said that he will wait for him... so i told the driver that we would wait...

juz after i hanged up the phone... mark and i went to wait for his cousin cuz his cousin suppose to send him home... but i told her that she can go back 1st cuz i dunno what time will the driver arrived and i will send him home once the phone is being delivered... i gave my contact no to her as well so that she can contact me... after she left, i called comfort to see whether the driver responded to the msg but apparently he didnt respond to the msg but only to my call... so i called mark's phone again and the driver didnt pick up my calls...

some time later, i receive a call from his aunt and his aunt told me that she will suspend his line if the driver didnt respond by 1am... i was really panic so i try to persuade his aunt not to suspend the line cuz it was my only chance to contact that person... i really try calling mark's phone and comfort to see whether the driver responded... but the driver still haven respond to the msg... i got pissed and i scolded the C.S assistant and demanded to page again...

after calling for like dunno how many times, he still didnt pick up... so i give my last tactic alrdy... cuz it's near 1am and i'm really very worried that his aunt will suspend the line... i told the C.S assistant that i'm ok waiting for the driver to come if i'm alone... but i was wif a 15 yo boy who is tired and need rest... i told her that i dun mind waiting like until 3,4am or 5,6am... at least he would respond to my phone call so that i know that he is really holding onto the phone... and i told the C.S assistant that if he doesnt ans the call, i would demand for a compensate...

at 1am zun zun, the driver picked up the call... and he told me that he was stuck at the airport and he couldnt get out... i told him that there's a 15yo boy waiting for his phone and he needs sleep... and i demanded him to come asap... he told me that he will come as soon as he gets out of it... so i called his aunt and told her that i manage to get the driver and got his name, contact and car plate no... and i told the aunt wad the driver told me... at abt 145am, his aunt called me and told me that the driver will arrived abt 20mins later...

not long after, his aunt arrived at the bus stop and gave me money to go back home and awhile after i left, the cab driver came and told mark that he will only return the phone if he pays the cab fare... when i was at the meeting place, i called comfort again to lodge a complain and demanded for a refund... cuz it's really irresponsible for him to let us wait for 2 hrs and yet still asked him to pay... they agreed the refund...

wad i really thank God is that, He taught me how to be calm when situations occurs... i could calm someone down when he was stress... i have gotten their trust... mark got his phone back and he's getting the refund... amen for tat!!!

2009-06-13T01:11:00.001+08:00

i'm really tired... will blog more abt wad happen later... i hope...

2009-06-01T00:27:00.001+08:00

i need someone out there to be here for me... anyone out there???

2009-05-29T23:50:00.002+08:00

Went for a shoot this morning... i'm suppose to reach by 11 but no one told me... the only instruction is that be at siglap by 930am... but becoz i'm scared that i lost my way so i took a cab down to siglap and i reached at 9am... i'm the earliest there... when i was there i really didnt know what to expect... all i know is that i'm acting as a policeman... and i really look forward to wearing the uniform... at abt 930, my partner came and i felt awkward to talk to him and so he took the initiative to talk to me... we began to talk but the topic was very shallow until he asked me whether i'm a christian... so tat was when i began to open up... i oso found out that he's in my old church too... so we juz talk even deeper

saw bro eric at the shoot too... it's really amazing and surprised to learnt that my ex leader is acting in the same episode as i do... when he reached, we juz began to talk and talk... abt half an hr b4 the shoot, i got to know that i'm acting as CID and my partner, a policeman... he got to wear the uniform and i got the lines... woohoo... memorising lines last min is really madness, really crazy... i had many NGs... and the gals kept telling me it's ok... chill... oh!!! i haven tell u guys wad show am i acting in... R.E.M is the name of the show... dunno why today my tongue not obeying the master... haha... i have problems saying these words "take into account how he saved your lives." kept adding words and tongue tied... haha... took abt 1.5 hrs to get it done... so pple check out R.E.M on tues 8pm on OKTO...

God has been faithful and good to me... i really want to have a sb to take care of... after moved on from AF i didnt have anyone under my care... so on wed, my fren came up to me and told me that he wants to find a home church... w/o any hesitation i quickly invite him to TCC... cuz this week i'm serving TM so he said that he'll be coming next week instead... woohoo... cant wait...

2009-05-24T13:41:00.002+08:00

I just want to be where You are
Dwelling daily in Your presence
I don't want to worship from afar
Draw me near to where You are

I just want to be where You are
In Your dwelling place forever
Take me to the place where You are
I just want to be with You

I want to be where You are
Dwelling in Your presence
Feasting at Your table
Surrounded by Your glory
In Your presence
That's where i always want to be
I just want to be
I just want to be with You

Oh my God
You are my strength and my song
When I'm in Your presence
Though i am weak
You're always strong

It's 13 days away from SI audition... but somehow i dun wan the same thing to happen to me during season 2... i'm still getting my life right... i'm all ready to skip the audition if i still dun think that my walk with God is right... i wanna shine for God... i rem the 1st time when i joined worship min back in Hope in why i wanna join worship min... and oso during my worship min audition... the reason why i join worship min is becoz i wanna use God's talent to touch the lives of the worshippers... it is the same reason why i joined SI... i wanna use God's talent that He has given me to touch the hearts of the listeners who hear me sing... so pple who read this blog pls keep me in prayer... thx a million... =)

2009-05-15T05:10:00.002+08:00

It's juz 22 more days to the audition..... aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... as the days are drawing nearer, the tension gets higher...... feeling very nervous...... but wanna thank God for the pple who have been encouraging me like esther, felix, haruki... u guys nv fail to encourage me when i am super nervous, super stress...

can't sleep now... at 3am i receive a sms from my director saying that the script was being sent out... so i open up my mail, retrive my script... at 1st i tot it was only like 5 pages long... i was like phew... dun really need to memorise so much lines... but to my horror, it is 45 pages long... hopefully tat i will not the get the role of a person who has to talk alot in the show... took 1.5 hrs to understand the story line and though some parts i'm quite confuse... gonna read the script again...

gosh... i really need some sleep... i cant sleep at all... i dun wanna sleep in the cinema again... sat will get to know the character that i'll be playing... gosh... the gay guy is in the play wif me again... hopefully i will have nothing to do wif him in this production...

k gtg and read the script again... after tat will go and sleep for a while...

2009-05-15T04:56:00.003+08:00

erm... Joseph, have u emo enuf? it's really time for u to wake up ur idea!!! get ur life rite again...

i'm at the deepest part of the valley rite now... trying to climb out of the valley... i cant do it on my own... someone out there who hears me, i need a hand... God, i know that You are there... Your hand is always there to save me... i'm clinging onto You rite now... holding onto Your promises...

Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause i cant do this on my own
Oh i'm letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road i'm on
Jesus take the wheel

not letting go of You...

2009-04-28T23:55:00.002+08:00

John 15:1-8

1"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. 3You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

5"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. 8This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

why is all these needed? becoz God wants to mold us, to grow us... we all have to go thru this process... yes sometimes it is really painful... but wad did God promise us... the fruit that He prunes will be even more fruitful... at times a sacrifice is needed in order for us to grow... but only when we remain in Him... imagine wif me this, if there is one day we live without God in our lives, how will it be? everything will be meaningless... nothing that we do, we will be pleased, will be satisfied... it is in times like this that we need to cling on to God... we need to hold on to the promises of God... it is in times like this that we need to press in, to persevere...

on sun was my last service in IGNYTE... serving in IGNYTE for 2 1/2 years... definitely has alot of emotions... IGNYTE indeed has help me grown alot, has helped me to unleash the potential that i have in me... i would to express my graditude to these people... becoz without them, i wouldnt be wad i am today... without them, i wouldnt have grown so much...

bro kelvin, thank you for being a good fren, leader in my life... thank you for all the pushing... i know i was reluctant to go CCLT initially... but becoz of the push, i know wad God's call for my life is and becoz of the push, i know wad God has intended me to do... thank you for the HTHTs though there isnt much nowadays... but i'm really thankful that i have those times wif u on the bus...

bro eric, thank you for believing in me in what i can do but dun dare to do... thank u for the 4 HTHT sessions at different places... thank u for speaking into my life... thank you for helping me grow, helping me to see the things that i cannot see...

sis raine, thank you for all the fun serving together wif u in worship min/camp com... haha i will really miss the days man... serving together wif u for 2 yrs and u really have impacted my life a lot a lot a lot... thank you for believing in me when i wasnt really doing my part in camp com... thank you for getting my life str8 to God again... thank you for the 2 scoldings during camp com... that's really the turning point of my life... aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh... gonna miss u calling me josie... haha... really thank you from the bottom of my heart...

bro shannon, thank you for those times where we have our small talks on the bus, over msn and on the phone... i rem there was this time when i really couldnt really control my emotions already and i need to talk to someone... i was crying on the phone and u were wondering whether am i crying or laughing... thank you for sacrificing some of ur time even though u can be quite busy at times... thank you for the encouragements when i needed them... thank you for availing urself when i needed someone to talk to...

nathanael, thanks for giving me the opportunity to speak into ur life... haha... what i wanna tell u, i have done so on sat... continue to press in during this period of time... i know that it is very hard but rem this... John 16:33... continue to grow in the Lord... rem what i spoke to u over msn tat i wanna see u one day out grow me... that will be one of the greatest joy i have... still looking forward for that day to come...

worship min... u guys are like my family... gonna miss all the jams, combine jams, serving jams... gonna miss those days where i need to reach church at 1130am on sats if there is jam after service jams, waking up at 545 so that i can be early and reach church by 745 on suns... gonna miss u guys... gonna miss all the outings too... but continue to stay close to God... rem those things that sis raine, sis grace, bro alex, bro shannon, sis jessie had taught u during the jams and evaluations...

last but not least, IGNYTE.. u are my big family, thank you p.andy, p.dar for speaking into my life during the last few mths... thank u to those whom i have been serving wif before... thank u for tahaning my lame-ness esp my hang out grp... thank u so much... even though i may not know most of u... but i wanna tell u tat i love u guys alot alot alot alot alot... haha no tears... these 2yrs plus indeed has brought me much joy... plus all the shaping and molding... but thank God for IGNYTE... becoz without IGNYTE, there will be no joseph heng today...

2009-04-24T08:34:00.002+08:00

i'm 22 today... sigh... dun really know wad to expect from this new yr... this is my last yr celebrating my bdae in sg... and yet... sigh... i know... i have been extremely emotional this mth... prob i'm turning 22? haha... it's not that... but rather i'm really not very happy wif my 22nd bdae... in 2 days time i'd be moving on from ignyte... wad lies ahead i dunno... but wad i know is tat God is wif me... and He is leading me to a place i've nv been b4... it could be the same place but new style or a new place...

ytd went for faith impartation nite... i challenged God in my calling... i told God that if that is the place that he is leading me, i wan a vision of that... somehow i sense that we will sing the song i will go... that very moment when the song is played i cried... becoz i felt that God is pulling me back to His vision, His calling... thruout the whole service, col 3:2 keep on ringing in my mind... Set your mind on things above, not on earthly things.

these were the things other than Col 3:2 came into my mind when i left my hse to PL, during service and altar call... Jan 2008, pastor Andy prayed for me during altar call... he prophesied to me abt this pic of a map and a compass... i'll be seeking for directions... it took me 1 whole yr to know wad God has in stored for me... during these 3 mths i kept asking for more confirmation... ran away from my calling... doubted it also... even though many people came and talk to me, i didnt take in in what they said...

until ytd... God used Pastor susan to speak to me... she saw a pic of a catapult and she gave a very distinct explaination... a catapult is very targetted... and God has already targetted pple whom i'll be impacting... which is what i am doing rite now... after the whole of last nite, my vision and calling were renewed and refreshed...

so God... do Ur work in me...

2009-04-20T22:03:00.003+08:00

i'm very tired... really tired... super duper tired... only sleep for an hrs plus today... cuz sent pi wei off at the airport... i didnt really sleep much... plus fell sick today... super tired rite now... gotta go sleep... and gonna miss pi wei again... 4 more days... :( and i dunno wad to expect... show me ur direction God...

2009-04-19T21:02:00.002+08:00

can i do what i wanna do? why is everyone stopping me from doing the things that i like? are they really my close ones? do they even understands my heart? if they are, they shld encourage me to do wad i'm passionate in and not stopping me rite? stop telling me wad to do... not a single soul out there supports me in what i'm doing...

2009-04-18T01:09:00.002+08:00

liars... all are liars... dun confirm everything wif me when u guys are not confirm... i really hate it... keep on changing my plans... it's not the 1st time already...

2009-04-16T14:52:00.003+08:00

Lover Of My Heart

All I want is to see Your face
All I need is a moment of grace
It's in You that I have the faith
To stand up and be strong

Cause I know I'm not longer bound
It's in You that I have found
Peace of mind freedom from my sin
And the power to love and forgive

I want to walk with You
Everyday of my life
To talk with You
In the Good and the strife
You're my Friend, You're my Father
For all time
Nothing can keep us apart
You're the Lover of my heart

2009-04-16T01:21:00.002+08:00

ytd i saw another pair of mormons... as they walk past me, suddenly i felt this prompting from God... wad am i doing actually... the mormons are out there spreading their "gospel" everyday and everywhere... here i am, l4d-ing, slacking... hello joseph... the GC is not there juz for the sake of being there... it's a commission... i'm called to make His name known and not slacking... joseph... better wake up ur idea...

bro... i know tat u'll be reading this... juz wanna let u know tat i'm still and always believing in you... there are some things i would want to tell u personally so i shall not blog down here... anyway... juz wanna let u know tat u have been doing great... i can see ur hard work... keep it up... i know tat it will not be easy... a lot of things will be going thru ur mind... Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. - colossians 3:2...

ok... i know tat i have something against this song but God juz spoke to me abt this song...

You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease

I'll trust in You
I'll trust in You

I believe You're my healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You're my portion
I believe You're more than enough than for me
Jesus You're all I need

Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
You hold my world in Your hands

2009-04-15T12:53:00.002+08:00

yesterday, pi wei, justin, reuben and jolene got approached by a Mormon. initially he wanted to approach reuben and jolene but becoz reuben pretended to be sleeping so he turned to pi wei and justin. As he was speaking to pi wei and justin, i texted pi wei not to take in what he said.

after we alighted the bus, i clarified all the things tat he said to them. during this journey i was paying attention to what he was saying and oso at the same time, i felt tat youths nowadays are not aware abt such people like them. hmmm gonna update myself abt them... cuz the research tat i've done has cobweb already... gonna spend more time at home to do a deeper research...

2009-04-12T13:46:00.002+08:00

Ytd, i was chatting online wif pple and then suddenly, God stopped me from wad i was doing... and He juz ask me this qn... Joseph, who are you serving? i juz stop and talk to God in the living room... good thing no one was ard at home... i juz kept my heart still, and repent...

during Hope production ytd @ PL, P. dar was preaching and one of the illustrations that he shared hits me a lot... Michael Phleps won 6 gold medals broke all records in 2004 and 8 last yr in olympics... though he is successful in life, but he often get himself into trouble... and tat very moment, it hits me very hard...

i have past successes in my singing... took part in singing competitions won quite a no of awards... but so wad if i win all these... going thru all these without God is really meaningless... like wad King solomon said this is Ecc 1:2 "Meaningless! Meaningless!... Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless!" life without God is really meaningless... not partnering wif God is meaningless... serving Him without Him in my life is meaningless!

haha... no worries... i'm alrite... 've settled everything wif God...

2009-04-06T00:50:00.002+08:00

Can't Live A Day

God, You are my God
So I'll live for You
Live for You

I wanna sing Your praise
So I'll live for You
Live for You

I can't wait to sing this song of praise
I'll give my all to You

God You are my God
You are my all
Everything I give to You alone
I can't live without You
I can't live a day without You

You're my King, my God
You're the one I praise
My life is Yours now and always
I can't live without You
I can't live a day without You

This song spoke to me yesterday... a lot of things have been happening at home... thoughts of giving up really came into my life... but this song spoke to me... i was controlling my tears not to cry... well... this song spoke abt God is the God of my life... without God, i cant... indeed without God i cant do anything...

God, today i acknowledge tat without You i can't... come and lead me again... be my Lord and Savior again... today i choose to partner to with You... Amen!

2009-04-02T16:58:00.002+08:00

hey all... haha... at MS now... together wif nat and jelly in yoshinoya stoning... haha... well... not really stoning... jelly helping nat and i do our blogskins... love this skin... have been searching for it ever since fu wei spoke to me abt this... woohoo... gonna get my guitar today.... so excited... alrite... gtg...

2009-03-31T23:26:00.002+08:00

just receive a shocking news not long ago from a very close buddy of mine... tat his grandma is admitted to the hospital... when i heard the news, i was shocked... i had to be strong too... cuz she dotes on me alot alot... so pple who are ready this blog... pls keep her in prayer... many thx...

2009-03-25T20:23:00.002+08:00

on mon, when i went back home to change, i met an old lady. she asked me whether am i buying stuff if not i can help her. at 1st i walked away. but i felt something in my heart to tell me to go. so i turned back and ask her what she need. after finding out from her, i told her tat i will be back in 5 mins... initially i wanted to bless her but she refuse to...

after buying her coffe, i went back to her with her coffee. but when i pass it to her, i saw her brusies everywhere. though she told me that she fell, but i doubted her words cuz i saw a very big bruise on her eye... i wanted to find out more, but i didnt know much of dialect... i wanted to share Christ to her but i didnt know how to share Christ in dialect... so pple who read this blog, if u know of pple who knows how to speak dialect, pls let know... help me share Christ to tat old lady.... many thx...

2009-02-25T01:22:00.002+08:00

some changes that i'm gonna make that God has placed upon my heart...

1) being sensitive... i need to be sensitive to the pple ard me... this issue God has been speaking to me over the past years... i always find that i'm not really that sensitive to others...

2) being firm... i need to learn to make my stand... in the decision making as well...

3) response to God's call... i have been running away from God... i have always been running away... keep on finding excuses of not wanting to follow it... always unsure and keep on wanting to have more confirmation... until God has to speak to me so many times...

today... as i juz woke up from my nap... i had this very loud voice... go to the ITEs... i'm very sure that it is God speaking to me... cuz i've been running away from this for a very long time... keep on giving excuses that pastor andy has no time... i need to take up the courage... i lost the calling before... and it is by God's grace that He calls me back again... i cant lose the calling again... if not i will nv know wad will happen to me when i miss out God's plan in my life...

2009-02-13T10:13:00.002+08:00

to that someone... you have been doing great... i'm very proud of u... even though u fall, but at least u have tried... at least u manage to pull thru... dun put the magnifying glass on the problem tat u are facing... but put ur magnifying glass on God... u know many pple ask me to let u handle by urself... but i know that u need that support... i know that u need the help... now's not the time for u to give up... not the time for u to look inward... u need to press on... u need to put on the armour of God... u need to war...

yes... i may be upset, may be disappointed... but i have not given up hope on u... i have not thrown the white towel... dun give up on urself... dun lose hope... the Lord has already given u the victory... look at the victories that u have made... i'm still believing in u... i dun care what others say... but i still believe that u can do it...

2009-01-22T15:02:00.002+08:00

i have been reading a book tat i bought ytd... the title is call Christians Going To Hell... i was only reading the 1st chapter and God has been speaking to me big time...

Luke 16:19-31... it talks abt the rich man was sent to hell... and he knew that it wasnt a good place to stay and so he requested Abraham to let him go and tell his 5 other brothers to repent and turn from their wicked ways...

oso in that book, the author shared abt 1 doctor who was a non believer at that time, he was trying to rescue the patient who juz died... the doctor was using a heart controller trying to save the patient... while saving the patient, the patient was telling the doctor that he must save him and he dun wanna go to hell... the patient wanted to know Jesus and so he ask the doctor to pray for him to accept Jesus... in the end he was saved...

but my question today is tat muz we experience hell then we tell others that we need to turn away from our wicked ways? muz we go thru hell and tell them tat it is not a nice place to go? the ans is NO!!! we wanna see pple enjoy living eternally... therefore we as believers, we shld keep the culture of evangelism... evangelism must be in our blood... bringing people to Christ is not a duty... not becoz our leaders/pastors say we must bring our frenz to church but becoz we wanna see them eternally... we wanna see them enjoying their lives and not suffer eternally...

how do u feel when ur close fren see u in heaven enjoying ur eternity wif God and he/she suffering eternity in Hell... and he/she asks you, "why didnt u share the Gospel to me?" therefore frenz, let's bring all our close ones to God...

Not only we must cultivate evangelism, we need to keep our lives pure before God... we need to repent all our sins and not most of it... i was listening to Paul Washer sermon ytd and he was saying that even if there is one is that is not repented, we will still go to hell... frenz, it is impt to keep our lives pure before God... Yes, God loves us... but He hates sin... he loves us so much tat He has to punish us for our wrong doings... only when we turn from our wicked ways then we will spend the eternity wif God...

There are 2 things u can do to turn from ur wicked ways...

1) account to our leaders, including our hidden sins... confess
2) let God take control over ur life... grow ur r/s wif God...

frenz, hope tat as u read this, u will quickly seek God and talk to Him...

2009-01-20T23:34:00.002+08:00

My Hope

You are righteous
You love justice
And those honor You
Will see Your face

I will arise
And lift my eyes to see
Your majesty, Your Holiness
And all i am will bless You

My hope is in the name of the Lord
Where my help comes from
You're my strength, my song
My trust is in the name of the Lord
I will sing Your praise
You are faithful

This song has been speaking to me for the past 3 days... i have been seeking for confirmation in the direction that God has been calling me to... so far in my TAWG, prayer of a fren and thru the sermon... the voice of God has always been loud... but i still need a confirmation... God... if it is real, show me the way...

2009-01-01T12:24:00.002+08:00

it's been some time since i came to blog... well... haha... i think it's a bit too late to round up for the year 2008.

year 2008 for me indeed is a year of moulding and grilling and breakthrough... ever since jan, a lot of things happen to me... jan i did 8 guard duties out the 10... initially when i plan the guard duty, each person does abt 6 duties thruout the month... but due to some circumstances, i had to do more... so in the end i had to give up alot of stuff... such as going for the song writing class...

in the mth of feb, i had 2 out fields... i'm suppose to act in the Vday event... but due to the out fields, i couldnt attend it at all... during my second out field, i learnt abt the escape of MSK...

and comes in the mth of march, the mth of march is really hunting down that guy... argh... couldnt attend service and cell at all...

in the mth of apr, went taiwan for 5 weeks... that was the time when i really felt low... becoz i was left alone in a foreign land and celebrating my 21st bdae all by myself... finally may, i can come back to service and cell for 2 mths...

in july, had NDP shows... duty every sat and whenever i reach home it is really late... slept late and woke up early to go church and serve... towards the end of aug, sis raine came up to me whether i wanna serve in camp com... i took up...

indeed it moulded me and change me... despite of a lot of things had happen... but i cont to hold on and press in and persevere... 2008 had been the lowest point of my life... but i thank God that all these had happen... becoz thru all these, i saw breakthoughs in my life...

lastly, juz wanna thank God for a few pple whom God has place them in my life to help me realign myself back to God...

P.gary
B.Kel
B.Eric
Sis. Raine
Andre
Fu wei
Chang
Nathanael

2008-12-18T23:57:00.002+08:00

juz came back from camp... wah... i muz say that it's really a refreshing time. a time of restoration... a time of rejuvenation... i really had a personal encounter wif God... and alot of radical things happen...

day 1 of camp... someone stole my phone and this person denies that she took it... as i told her that i need the phone and hope that she will return it to me... but she didnt... i was amazed by myself... becoz when i talk to her, i was putting on a smile on my face... and i was ready to forgive her... forgiveness is one thing that i could hardly do... cuz of the past hurts that i have gone thru... but at that time i could release forgiveness over her... after talking to her, i choose not to show my emo side, but i chose to serve the facilitators... and there was a great joy in me... i've nv felt such joy before... so the com was asking me, "so how? ur phone?" at that point of time i didnt know how to respond... but i spoke in faith that my mum will bless me a new phone and it will be a better one... true enough, on the second day my mum called eugene to tell him to convey the msg to me saying that she has bought me a new phone... and i thank God for that...

day 2 of camp it was quite dramatic... sis kassey suddenly had a abdominal pain and it was really painful that she was sent back to the hospital and stay over for a day for observation... the 2nd thing was that bro andy came up to myself and andre to ask for a red cloth... then andre and i were looking for it over the general stores box and we couldnt find it... we search high and low for it but we still couldnt find it so i told andre to search in the master list whether did we put the red cloth inside when we were doing packing... to our horror, it was recorded inside... we started to be even more panic... our fear was that we forgot to bring it from singapore... we were really worried... then sis kim came to ask us wat were we looking for then she told us that sis kassey actually took it... at that moment we teared... cuz the stone has already taken from our hearts...

day 3 during the nite service... i believe it was really part of God's plan... cuz brenda came up to me to ask me to accompany her to take her jacket... at 1st i was quite reluctant... but i chose to go in the end... so i went up wif her... oso at the same time i had to take some stuff for andre as he was serving... as we make our way to the service hall, from afar i saw reuben and nat together and at that time nat was feeling distress... i came up to him and begin to pray for him... i told brenda and reuben to go in to the service hall 1st while i attend to nat... after praying for him sis vivian came up to him and prayed another prayer for him... after some time of counselling session, i juz sense that God wants to speak to him so i began to pray for him even more and God juz used me to speak over his life... and as i was talking to him on the bus today, i was talking to him abt wad God spoke to us and he told me that the prayers i prayed for him was wad God has been spoken to him for 3 times during that nite... that nite alot of things really took place over his life...

today we had alot of deep talks wif each other but i juz really thank God how He has really use me to speak to the lives of the youths... i was amazed by myself abt praying for nat that nite... cuz i really felt the anointing of God upon me as i speak to him... juz on the 3rd nite, God challenged me to quit my job... i was really fearful cuz i'm still under contract... and the thing is that if u break the contract, i will have to compensate the company... i dunno how, but i trust God that he will lead me and carry me thru...

i really thank God that i stayed on in the camp com, cuz if i had chose to leave the committee the other time, i would already have missed out on wad God wants to speak to me... i thank God for the committee who really stood by me thruout these times... and now i can proudly say that i'm a radical camp com member...

2008-12-07T21:38:00.002+08:00

wah... i feel so old now... but i'm very happy... ytd met an very old fren of mine... when i 1st saw him, he was only p6 going to sec one... then now he's a cell leader and oso now in army... time really flies... i really seen him growing up... not only that met up wif my ex cell member as well... he juz finish his A lvl exams... enlisting next yr apr... and i seen him since sec one... now a musician serving in church... all these are really great news to me...

well oso... 2 days ago met up wif haruki to buy stuff for camp... we were at bras basar wanted to buy canvas sheet... but we couldnt find... so i called bro eric and he told me to go crawford street... haruki and i walked down bugis area... as we were walking, i bumped into an old fren of mine... i saw him surrounding dustbin together with his frenz... so went there to like say hi to him... we had a short convo... and as we were talking, suddenly i saw him puffing a cigarette stick... i was really shock and i didnt know how to respond to him... he asked me whether do i still sing, i told him that yes, i still sing... so he offered me to sing in pub... i didnt agree to him and oso at the same time i didnt reject him as well...

after we departed from one another, haruki was asking me who was that... and as i told him that he was an adult leader, worship leader, talented musician, great song writer from my old church, he was completely stunned... i was really stunned too... i couldn't imagine someone so was once so passionate abt writing songs for God and the one who pulled me back to God when i was drifted away could do something like this... it was really heart broken... as i was talking to haruki, my heart really sanked... there were tears in my eyes... i wanted to cry but i controlled my emotions.

when we were on our way to meet nathaniel, i was praying in the cab surrendering my burdens to Him... as we reach, we went to find seats at aston specialties while waiting for nat to arrive... we had a great time eating there... nat and haruki were surprise that i ate so little... haha... but yes... i've been eating little recently... after eating, we went to e2max to play xbox 360... we were playing ghost reccon... they were laughing at me all the time as i was playing... wanna know, ask them.... we played for an hr, then we wanted to play foose ball in adidas... but the ball was lost, so we chilled out at ben and jerry's...

sitting down there for abt 20 mins we had to go up for our movie, bolt.... i was super funny... the 3 of us were like laughing non stop in the theatre... part of it was becoz of the movie and part of it was becoz of the way how nat sits, he really treats the theatre like his home... too bad i didnt have the pics... if not i would have shown u guys... after movie we walked to esplanade to chat... i really love this moments to really talk to my close frenz... cuz it's really a time for affirmation, for some HTHT... so we talked till abt 11 plus then i took a cab to send nat home... for haruki left halfway... it was really cool cuz the cab that i was in, it has the trinitarian sticker on the wind shield... i realise that nat is really unglam... alot unglam than me... haha... wanna know? ask me personally... haha...

today p gary was preaching the sermon abt treasure in the aspect of worship... the sermon really hit me alot... a few reasons, 1st was becoz i was reminded of this fren of mine that i mentioned previously juz now... then oso becoz i felt far away from God... and lastly it was a dedication to God that i wanna guard this r/s with Him... i wanted to rem my 1st love...

after service we had camp com meeting... oso had the time of packing the logistics... woohoo... as we were packing, all of us keep sweating non stop... everyone is really serving wif no complains at all... it's really amazing... though we spent like long hrs packing the logs... really thank God for the positive heart... yay... it's like one more week to camp... yes... i'm really amazed... how time passes so fast... we started meeting at the last week of aug... from strangers to like frenz... and closed frenz has been developed from this com... oso those whom i known them for some time, i've known them even more... i'm really proud to be in this rad(i)cal committee...

i think i will really miss this team, after the camp ends... camp com... jy... hang in there... we are one week away from camp only...

2008-12-03T16:18:00.002+08:00

Since my boss is not here so i shall steal some time to blog.

I was having lunch with my colleagues ytd. As i was eating, i heard some chinese songs. At first i didnt really bother much about it until i heard some parts of the lyrics talking about freedom. So it just caught my attention. I was curious in what does the shop sells and i just turn ard. 2 things i saw when i look at the stall.

1st, it was a chinese christian CD. Thank God for that. 2nd, i saw yellow ribbon and tatoos. so the 1st thing that came into my mind is that, the stall owners were once in prison and during their stay in the prison, somehow, someone just share the gospel to them and then they accepted Christ into their life.

What is so amazing is that they play CDs that has sermons and worship in it so as to share the gospel to the people. even as they are cooking, they are actually serving with a smile on their face. these bunch of people just really captured my heart. they didnt let their past to hinder them from serving God. even if they are working in the hawker centre, they are still satisfied in their job and at the same time serving others.

These people have already decided to turn from their past and move on. i believe thru them, they will lead many souls for God. * Their food is really nice. pls go and try if u are available. keep a look out on the updates of this place.

2008-12-02T08:21:00.003+08:00

it's been some time since i blogged. well juz wanna blog something interesting to me that i find.

Well, on sun went to help out a fren of mine in assisting his singer in recording. I've nv knew recording can be so fun and yet so stressful. good thing abt this vocalist is that she is quick to get what we want. so we only did it within 2 hrs.

What's most cool is that i was really amazed how technologically advanced we are. I knew abt auto tune but i nv knew how does it work. so after recording, the guy actually showed us how he edited the tune of the vocalist. cuz her low notes were quite off. it was REALLY amazing.

I nv really knew how stressful a singer and the producer can be until the recording was done the other day. but i would still want to pursue my dream as a singer one day.

2008-09-02T00:23:00.002+08:00

tomorrow it's gonna be an exciting day... meeting someone whom i haven met for a very long time... this person is non other than my ministry mentor... when i 1st joined the ministry, he was the one who really gave his time to disciple me, teaching me what does it mean to be a worshipper, harmonising, he taught me that too... i remember the times we went back home together after worship practices... cuz we were in the same team... but after he moved on, i didnt see him much and talk to him... so gradually we lost contact... 2 weeks ago, i went for hope church jump concert... after the event i saw him... he was talking to my ex shepherd... then after tat he walked away... but today i was surprise to receive a sms from an unknown no... then i realised that it was actually him... it's really been yrs since we met... gonna learn more from him again tml...

2008-03-23T02:25:00.002+08:00

havent been blogging for some time... recently been down... due to some pastoral ministry matters... but whenever i face troubles and distressed i will worship God wif this song by the title have ur way... it's not by my own strength but God's way...

Have Your Way

This yearning within me
Reaches out to You
Your oil of joy for mourning
Soaks me makes me new

And I will go
To Your secret place
Bow my knees
To Your glorious throne
Have Your way
In my heart O Lord
Have Your way

I need You Holy Spirit
Fire to my soul
Consume my total being
Jesus take control

2008-02-24T13:37:00.003+08:00

hee... gonna get scolding from my sis when she wakes up... cuz i was using her penguin... cuz last nite chang jie, fu wei and shuang ai came over to my hse to play mahjong... then serve them drinks... lazy like going in and out of the room, so decided to like find a container to fill water... then i saw my sis' penguin... then left it in her room when i go to bed... when i woke up, i realise that the penguin is in the dinning room... so will be getting scolded by her soon... haha

well... sian... dunno wat to do... cuz rite now my sis like stop learning keys... then left me the only one... and the fees are still the same... dunno wad to tdo next... to stop or continue learning... i'm like making alot of progress... but stopping juz like that, it would be a waste... though like bargain wif my tutor doesn't like really help much... hmmm... dunno la... seriously dunno wad to do...

2008-02-19T10:51:00.002+08:00

Last sunday we have our worship min CNY lunch... it was really great and fun... great food, great games and great dunking too... haha...

talking abt dunking, i was dunked 4 times into the pool... well at 1st wanted to dunk andre down the pool... but mission failed... they tried to push me down the 1st time but thank God 1st time fail... though i almost fall... but thank God nv... cuz my phone was wif me at that time...

then andre tried to like bak kak wif shannon... i sense something's not right... so i decided to like stay a distance from them... then in the end when i saw andre is near the pool, i decided to go and like dunked him... but i fell for their trick... they turn on me instead... so that is my 1st time i was dunked...

the 2nd time i was dunked into the pool was when i push andre down the pool... then someone pushed me from behind...

the 3rd was when we dunk shannon into the pool and someone push me down again... and the 4th was when i juz got up the pool, shannon push in again... lastly when i wanted to draw water to like splash someone, i was pushed into the pool again by damien...

but the high part of the event was when shannon dunked damien down the pool... the way shannon carry him in... but too bad i dun have the pic...

another one is leaving... candice is leaving tonite... gonna send her tonite... sad to see pple leaving... but on the other hand, happy for them, cuz they are doing missions... impacting others in another ground...

gtg now... tata

2008-01-23T12:07:00.000+08:00

ok guys... i'm not trying to be emo here... pls dun get me wrong...

was juz reading a person's blog... this person used to me my role model in life... he's someone who goes after God's heart... not only he's talented... but oso someone who always like to impart to pple wherever he go...

he was the one who really teach me alot of stuff... from pastoral ministry... to worship ministry... our relationship was so close tat pple thought tat we were SP and SB...

until he moved on to the working ministry, we were still in contact but not tat often... and then half a yr later found out tat he left church... it kinda hurt me cuz of the things tat he imparted to me and he did the other...

juz becoz of music, he left church, left God... someone who was once passionate abt God and now the love and fire is gone...

God... i'm making a covenant wif u today tat i WILL guard my heart and my call as a levite... i choose to serve You and You alone... i dun wanna let the things of the world to hinder my r/s wif u...

pple who are reading this, really guard ur heart esp the things u like to do the most... if not, u will be sucked by it... let God be the master of ur life... and not the things of the world... :)

2008-01-13T23:00:00.000+08:00

juz wanna share wad happen this morning juz before i book out from camp...

for the past 2 weeks i was doing guard duty wif a camp mate of mine... during the time i was doing duty wif him, i was sharing to him abt ignyte ministry... was sharing to him abt me serving in worship ministry... sharing to him abt my blessings that God gave me...

so the more i share to him, the more he's wanting to know more... the more he wanna know, the more excited he become... then after that i was sharing to him how i came back to God... and this morning juz before i booked from guard duty, he told me that he wanna rededicate his life to Jesus... and he told me that he is keen to visit ignyte service... so i'll be inviting to service next week...

2007-12-27T22:15:00.000+08:00

haha.. juz wanna thank God for certain pple in my life in 2007... before i forget... haha...

Eric... hey bro... thx for sharing ur heart out wif me... though nv talk serious wif u one on one before... but u have shown me a different perspective of urs... yea... to me u are like a spartan... haha... but saw the other side of u... u are oso a very pastoral person... as in u really go down to their level to understand them... this is one area i'm touched in how u relate to pple...

Andre... even though u are younger than me... but i have learnt so much from u... u really thought me alot of stuff... and even at times u corrected me... u have thought me in the area of speech and being sensitive to the other party that i'm wif... really thx bro... let's grow together... running the race together wif u... :)

Ata... thx for always being a encourager in my life... even though at times i may feel low or down, but u nv fail to come in wif words of encouragements... thx for sharing ur heart out... :)

Fran... thx for being such a good fren... love the times we hang out wif... though it was only recently, but i really enjoy ur companion... thx for being an encourager too... lastly... thx for the green bottle... :) as u go to a new ground, new land, nv stop showering God's love to the pple ard...

really thank God for you guys... u guys have really help me grown... God bless...

2007-12-27T19:32:00.000+08:00

juz these few days as i was in camp... God juz drop me a song... a song i have sung alot of times... but i believe tat this song is for me, the season i'm moving into right now... well the song is How Can I Keep From Singing... including the bridge... it juz speak to me alot...

How Can I Keep From Singing

There is an endless song
Echos in my soul
I hear the music ring
And though the storms may come
I am holding on
To the Rock I'll cling

How can I keep from singing Your Praise
How can I ever say enough
How amazing is Your love
How can I keep from shouting Your name
I know I am loved by the King
And it makes my heart want to sing

And I will lift my eyes in the darkest night
For I know my Saviour lives
And i will walk with You
Knowing You'll see me through
And sing the songs You give

I can sing in the trouble times
Sing when i win
I can sing when i lose my steps
When i fall down again
I can sing cause You pick me up
Sing cause You're there
I can sing cause You hear me Lord
When i call You there
I can sing with my last breath
Sing for i know
And I'll sing with the angels
And the saints around the throne

the bridge part really spoke to me... cuz it reminded me that even in my darkest moments He is there... and i should praise Him every moment of my life... be it good times or bad... whenever i'm happy or sad... whenever situations happens... i know that He is always with me thruout all these times...

whoever is reading this blog, i believe that God wants to speak to u thru this song too... do really listen to it and mediate upon it too in Psa 18... this is where He inspired me to continue with the bridge... if you dun have the song, u can get it from me.... juz pop by my msn and ask from me... :)

2007-12-14T19:48:00.000+08:00

Just came back home from church camp... it was really awesome... my objectives are met in this camp...

As i was writing down my objectives for this camp, i wanted to learn new ways on how to reach out to the pple ard me... God use bro andy to speak to me on ytd's afternoon sermon... abt being the reflector of God's love... it was a wake up call from me... and God spoke... Joseph, u dun need new strategies... u juz need to show my love to the pple ard u... it's true... sometimes we may juz asking God for new ways, new strategies... but sometimes it is not necessary... we juz need to reflect God love to the non bs...

this camp, it's the 1st time i'm serving... it was really amazing... cause,it's been a very long time since i went on stage... i felt very nervous... i didnt dare to look at the crowds... so i juz look up... when i look up, i juz didnt care how others think of me... i juz give Him my best... today i was serving oso... but this time round, i juz keep my eyes not only a corner, but oso the audience...

during the camp, alot of pple juz come to me and pray for me... and wad happen is tat wadeva they pray for me, it's all link to wad God spoke to me... it's all a confirmation... really thank God for it... juz pray tat wadeva i learn from this camp, it will not juz sink in my heart and mind... but will carry out oso... if not no point for camp...

really thank God for everything He has done in my life thru this camp... looking forward to what is He going to do in my life in the near future...

2007-12-01T09:20:00.000+08:00

haven been coming to blog for a very long time.... haha... hmmm... wanna blog abt last week but didnt have the time to type it down...

last sat sis grace shared to us abt guarding my call as a levite... well... after shannon prayed for me, during the prayer, i repented... all along God wants to teach me something... but i didnt really go and seek Him wad he wants to reveal to me... until wad was prayed for... immediately i broke down and repented... i was impatient...

so when i went back home i went to reflect further more... God juz reveal more things in my life... i was thankful... helping me aware of the trap i almost fall into...

well... indeed God is doing alot of work in my life... will update more when i have the time...

2007-10-24T21:33:00.001+08:00

tired... today spennt the whole day at my new hse... doing nth... haha... wanted to duplicate another key for the gate... but the person did wrongly... in the end no key... cuz intending to come back and sleep here on fri nite... been here for the past 3 days... but nv have slept on my bed before...

sian... going back camp soon... though i have a short week... but for the next 2 days... not a very good one... tml going outfield... then fri got 10km run... didnt run for a very long time liao... due to my injured ankle... juz dun feel like doing anything this week...

dec is coming very soon... after the end of dec means i will have 9 mths in NS...haha... juz waiting for that day time to come... 3 key mths... may, july and sept... haha... ok la... need to prepare to go back camp liao... see ya...

2007-10-23T21:29:00.000+08:00

yea... i'm back to blog... haha... anyway... was very busy these few days... wanted to do alot of things these few days but due to preparation of moving hse i have to neglect alot of things... but now i finish liao though there still some more i still need to do... but now i will have more time for pple liao...

yea... cant wait for church camp... hopefully i can go for it... missed it last yr already... dun wanna miss it again... during church camp i will be serving liao... haha... really look forward to it liao... finally u guys can see guys on stage to sing liao... and hear the guys' voice... haha...

at new hse now... wanna sleep here tonite but my mum wants me to go back home... wanna stay here longer... haha... i still rem that i once said to the pple ard me... i start to miss my old hse and i dun wanna move... but now i wanna stay here for long and dun wanna go back to the old hse liao... haha... funny me...

well... recently i've been writing more songs... wrote another 2 songs... 1 english song and 1 chinese song... well... for the english song... it was written when i was feeling down... i juz felt that i'm not able to lead God's pple... felt small... but God spoke to me tat He's big... and nth is impossible for him... hmmm... will load up the songs soon... once i record it...

for the chinese song... God juz impress me to write chinese abt Him to the chinese speaking pple abt His love... the characteristics of God... still got some words need to amend, to change... haha... anyway... kinda tired now... busy the whole day... so i think i shall end here... stay tune for my hse warming date...

2007-08-25T15:48:00.000+08:00

it's been 3 mths plus since i last blog...

many a times i wanted to close this blog... but somehow dunno why nv close...

well... i'm very excited for today... every quarter there is SP installation... often praying for the new SPs... but today is my turn to be prayed for... this is not the main thing... it's been a yr plus since i took care of someone... now i have to dig out my past of how i used to teach and lead pple to God... i oso have to balance between how things work in hope and in ignyte... i cant use the same way to lead someone but at least the spirit and the principal...

ytd went to cedric and stephen's bdae... it was very grand... i felt like i'm attending a wedding dinner instead of a birthday party... i nv expect that i would be so grand... to me, in my mind it was juz like bbq by the pool... but it was more than that... they booked the function room, hired host, camera man and etc... plus the games and their family sponser for the gifts... haha... i was asking stephen how much they spend on the birthday party... when he told me, i was shocked... they spent $6000+ on everything... but their bdae party gave me an idea of how i'm going to celebrate my 21st bdae... haha... it's not $6000+ oso la... but something else... i intend for my 21st bdae i want to point all the glory to God for everything... and hoping to see my family will turn to God on that day...

well ytd i saw my buddy's ex sheep(SB)... when i saw him, i was surprise... becoz i was taller than him in the past and he was very skinny... it's like a bamboo stick... but when i saw him, he was now taller than me, he broke his voice and he's now built... we did catch up and yup... after so many yrs since we last met... though now he's far away from God, i pray that he will turn back to Him one day...

gtg now... have to bia cab to church liao... haha...

2007-05-07T20:14:00.000+08:00

well... do watch this space as it will be something different... i'm doing a makeover in this blog... not in terms of the blogskin or wad... but i'm in the process of writing songs... songs that are inspired by God... i juz wrote one... the title is Passion... the lyrics is on the previous entry... if u wanna listen to the song do let me know... i'll send u the recording...

A Song From God

2007-05-05T15:04:00.000+08:00

juz a few days ago, i was taking a shower in camp... i was juz singing why by nicole nordeman... so the word passion juz came into my mind... suddenly a tune and some lyrics juz flash out onto my mind... so i quickly went back to my bunk and write down on the piece of paper... as i was writing down, i was praying wad God wants to include in the song... wad is His passion??? wad is my passion??? i was praying and praying, then God ask me, wad is my passion??? so here's the lyrics... if u wanna know how the song goes do let me know, i'll send u the recording...

Passion

It started with a stiring in my heart
To do something for You
In my heart, there is just one thing
To glorify Your name

To glorify, to magnify
Oh Lord, I want to make You known
Jesus, I pray
Let this passion be in my heart

this is my passion... he brought me back to the day wad i have told Him... i want to glorify Him and make Him known thru the songs that i sing...

2007-04-20T18:25:00.000+08:00

It's been a while since i've blogged and someone actually commented abt it... haha...

well for the past a mth God has been blessing me... i shall start off from the top... dur... not from the top then where... haha...

a week before easter service i acutally brought my fren to service... he's my best fren whom i have known for a few yrs... and he came to singapore from his service in brunei... he juz stayed here for 2 weeks and bla bla bla... ok... to cut the story short... he was really touched by God thruout the service... and recently we communicated thru sms... though we were in 2 different locations and the bill may be ex... but it's ok... i dun mind the cost cuz i'm impacting pple's life... anyway... he's been doing very well there... in fact pple were amaze by the talent God gave him... he took part in a singing comp and the fact is tat he cant really sing... but by God's way, he made it into the finals... thank God for that...

ever since i step into ignyte service, i always wanted to have my own convert... i want to play a part in growing God's church... i dunno who to reach out to and who to bring... but ever since i went to sp class, during one of the lesson we went street evax... so i got to get some contacts... now i'm sowing on them... during our easter special, timeless, they were suppose to come but last min they fly me aeroplane... however another fren of mine came for that service and he got saved on tat day... thank God and tat's my 2nd blessing...

last week i had a 2 day 1 nite field camp... though i dun need to chiong wif them... but i need to prepare ration for them... on fri morning, after bringing them breakfast i have nth to do... so i decided to bring my bible and a book to read... so when we left that place, i left my book and my bible on the training shed... i was panic and so i called my fellow store man to help me bring back becoz he was still at the field camp venue... when he came back i went to him to take back my book and my bible... to my horror he didnt bring it back as well... i was very down and worried becoz tat book tat i'm reading can nv be found again... but i rem 1 thing tat the author wrote abt in tat book... we shld not worry and turn our focus on God... so i juz change my focus tat whoever found tat book and bible i pray tat the person will come to know God... juz this week, i was walking in my camp wif my buddy, he saw my book and my bible... i really thank God... juz when i thought tat impossible to get the book and bible back, God make it happen... blessing no 3...

ever since my sis backslided, i've always been praying for her to come back to God... for the past 2 weeks she have been attending service in city harvest... and she told me tat she wants to go there... i thank God becoz her heart towards God has soften again... blessing no 4...

now wad i wan for my bdae wish is tat my SB to be retained and my mum to come to know God... God... not my will but Urs be done... :)

2007-02-18T08:19:00.000+08:00

happy new yr everyone... juz came back from esplanade... was wif jees, ata and chiang wee for movies... well... it was really an enjoyable time for us... since we have not really sit down and chatted wif each other...

we went to watch ghost rider... hmmm... well... dun really like tat show... imagine i try to keep myself awake during the whole movie and keep on frigiting around... lastly i cannot tahan then i fell asleep at certain parts of the movie...

after movie we went to starbucks to chat...well we chatted alot... from suanning ata until sharing from our hearts... then talk crap again... it was really a fun time together... chiang wee left us early...

then after tat we set off to esplanade to continue the chat... well... i was too tired so i fell asleep... ata and jees continue talking... until i woke up, we started to affirm one another... haha... i was greatly encouraged by their affirmation... thru wad they have said, i think i've grown really alot from the time i came back to God until now... from keeping all the probs to myself to opening up my life to others... indeed it's not very easy to adapt to new environment and culture after coming back to God... moreover it's a place where i know no one...

ata mention tat i'm child-like...i thank God for tat... becoz i really wan to live a life to please God only... nth else... i've really grown alot now... tat's not enough... i wan to grow even more...

2007-02-06T17:48:00.000+08:00

it's been weeks tat i have updated my blog... well... recently some things really struck my heart to thinking...

1st... 2 weeks ago i got to know that my classmate is getting married... married to someone he got to know for juz less than a yr or maybe less than half a yr... when he oso broke up wif his ex gf who got to know each other for 6 yrs... it's becoz his current gf is pregnant... all his happiness is gone... the relationship between the both of them are not very good...

the 2nd one... went shopping wif my sis and her fren yesterday... her fren told us tat his younger bro started to watch pornography at the age of 7... man... i was thinking... at the age of 7 yr old... they shld be innocent... but i was wrong... at the age of 7 it has turns out into this way...

and juz not long ago... i was talking to my spiritual buddy... he was tell me abt something tat really struck me alot... leaders and pple left church and went to other churches and they commented tat how come alot of pple left this church...

why??? why does all these things happen???

it was a very hectic week last week... was drained out physically and spiritually... was stuck in the office from morning all the way till before i go to bed... there were alot of things that i needed to do... and everything there are mistakes and i have to redo over and over again... at 1st i tot tat it was easy... but i was wrong...

i often complain... God why... why muz i have to stay in this camp... why do i have to go thru all these shit... am i over stressing myself??? have i neglected God??? why i juz feel tat have change... the joy is no more in me... i still love God... but why??? why do i always feel lousy...

a bro told me this... take joy in God... God place me there is for a purpose... tat is wad i need... i really need to take some time to spend time wif Him... i need to learn how to keep myself calm to listen His voice... need to take off to spend time wif God alone...

i want to change... i want to be joyful again... i wanna share my joy to others... but ultimately... I WANT TO GROW!!!

2007-01-26T23:03:00.000+08:00

sigh... this week i think i'm going thru another test... i dunno whether shld i do tat... but obviously i shld... ok... this is how it goes...

i cant rem which day, i was called to do some work... so i left my room forgetting to lock my cupboard... so when i come back, i realise that someone actually opened my cupboard... how i know was becoz i left the weekly training schedule in my cupboard so tat i can rem to do the daily RO and pple like to ask me for the next days' training schedule...

so wad happen was tat today when i open my wallet and check the money i have inside... i realised tat i lost $30... so i suspect that my money was lost during tat moment... so this is the thing i know i shld do it, but in my heart there is a grudge... bearing the grudge of that someone who stole my money... i know i shld forgive him... oso at the same time i want to find out who is the culprit...

well other than tat i oso need to be forgiven by some of my frenz tat i have been rude to them today... i actually venture my anger on them... which i am thinking of it, i felt guilty abt it... some more they are non b... wad if i leave a bad impression of a Christ follower to them... i really felt bad abt it lor... hope they will understand and forgive me...

2007-01-14T18:19:00.000+08:00

it's a long and tiring week this week... but however it's exicting as well...

on tues i was doin my time alone... as i was reading somehow i didnt hear God speaking to me... but i felt tat God wants to bring me to somewhere else... so i decided to take the time to seek God... as i was praying, God revealed to me the passage of John 10... it's talking the characteristics of a shepherd, the heart of a shepherd... so i took the time to pray for han fei oso... i was praying tat God would provide a way to contact him as he is always uncontactable...

later that time when some were sleeping, i receive a sms from kelvin... he told me tat he manage to contact han fei... when i saw tat msg, i jumped out of my bed and was like jumping ard the bunk... then some were woken up by me... they were asking me why in the middle of the nite i was jumping ard and make so much noise... so then i share to them how God has bless me... and 1 ask me to pray for him... so it's really God's blessing...

i juz pray tat thru all these testimonies tat i've been sharing to them, they will be touched and one day, they will come to know God...

how i wish i can juz dun thru next week... cuz it's a very long and tiring week... there will be alot of nite practice... and sat there's oso live firing... i juz hope tat i will book out way early on sat... and the time will pass by very fast...

2007-01-07T15:07:00.000+08:00

time really flies... i'm in TCC-IGNYTE for half a yr liao...

it's really amazing how much God has change me during these 6 mths... i'm truly blessed by Him... my relationship wif Him has always been growing... i still rem those sleepless nitez... i know tat He wants to speak to me... so i juz seek Him and He juz reveal things to me...

tml it's gonna be a new week... really look forward to wad God is in stored for me... will keep u guys updated abt the coming week...

2007-01-07T00:02:00.000+08:00

yoz... juz came back home not long ago... haha... it's been a not so long and tiring week...

this week it was really great... i had alot of close encounter wif God... i book in to camp wif fear and nervousness... becoz i dun know how to reach out to the pple... i wanna share but i dun have names to... so i began to ask God for names... He revealed to me one... then when i wanna approach him, he booked out...

i ask God to send someone to help me... but no one could... cuz the "christians" are spiritually dead... He gave me another solution, which is to speak to them and pray for them to respond...

ytd as i was spending my time alone wif God, i was asking God to reveal to me a passage tat He wants to speak to me... heh... i wanted to read the other books... but the book of colossians keep on flashing as i was praying... so i juz read and i was really amazed at how paul thinks and speaks abt pple... full of affirmation, thinking well of them... oso am amazed how much God loves us... col 3:12 "therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved..." the word dearly loved really touched me alot... i can see that God really cherish the relationship... so therefore i muz be likewise...

so juz wanna let whoever is reading this blog... God really cherish our relationship wif Him... let's really chase after God's heart...

2007-01-02T05:06:00.000+08:00

hey all... this is my 1st post for the new yr... well havent really been updating my blog cuz was really very busy for the past one month...

well... juz wanna blog abt how yr 2006 was to me... haha... yr 2006 wasnt a very good yr for me... i went thru alot of rough time... wasnt doing well in my walk wif God from the beginning of the yr... the reason why i stayed in church is becoz i cant let go of the ministy... at that point of time i was struggling... shld i stay or shld i leave... but in the end i chose to leave cuz i wanted to go into the music career... i start to take part in comps, sign up for lessons... i juz live a life on my own... living a life on my own wasnt easy... cuz i have no one to turn to when i need help... i have to carry the load on my own...

so one day i juz went to search for videos to catch up wif the SI 2 episodes that i've missed... as i was browsing the videos... suddenly a video captured my attention... SFY... which stands for Shout Your Fame... i was curious so i took at look at it... it was a singing comp and it was held in a church... i decided to go... so i asked cedric to accompany me to the event cuz i know no one in tat church... during tat event i was touched by the testimonies shared by the contestants... and oso the songs tat they sang... i was touched by God and so i gave my life back to Him again...

new vision and passion came ever since i came back to Him... i've grew alot in these 5 mths... juz 2 mths after i came back, He brought me to this new land, NS... when i stepped into this land, i was filled wif enthusiasm and fear... becoz of the pple... i couldn't relate well wif them in terms of the language, in wad the do (cuz 90% are smokers)... on the 1st day i was dissapointed... becoz i wanted to make a difference in this land... but there were alot of barriers and obstacles... i broke down b4 God and prayed for soft ground and revival in the land...

God nv failed to ans my prayers... i started a sharing session wif moses... who was in the same camp as me... during these sharing sessions, the non believers came and listen to us... even though at that time i kept chasing them away... more and more pple came to listen... until one day the sharing session became lesser... there were no more breakthrus in my camp... i felt dry in my spiritual life again... i didnt give up... i reaglin myself in God again... things start to change again... a fren of mine came up to me and ask me why did i believe in God so much... i juz told him tat He is so real in my life tat i couldnt deny the fact that He exist... i even testify abt some incidents tat occur and how He change the situations... when he had heard it, he was amazed at it... right now i can see tat he prays to Jesus everyday...

juz 2 weeks ago, i was worshipping God in my bunk cuz the rest were all in the smoking corner smoking after lunch... when one came back he juz sat beside me... after worship, he ask me to set up a cell... i told him tat i already had the intention to do so... it's juz the pple...

yr 2007 i believe tat it is a yr of breakthru, growth, multiplication... i can foresee tat pple will come to know Christ thru me... becoz the hearts of the pple are already soften... i can collect the harvest anytime now... 3 by end jan...

2006-12-02T13:48:00.000+08:00

have been very stress these few weeks becoz had to plan for the events tat are coming up... last week i was told tat the post new yr celebration wasn't approve but i still have to host for the x'mas event... which i feel even more stress... becoz it's juz 2 weeks away and we have no prac on the carols...

suppose to have rehearsal today, but last min it had to be cancelled cuz 1 could not make it... God... i really need to depend on u... cuz i really dunno how to carry on without ur help and annointing...

2006-12-02T12:17:00.000+08:00

went out wif darryl on thurs to ktv and he told me something... he said tat he is going to release a album next yr... felt happy for him... cuz his dream has come true... and he is my 1st fren who is a singer... cool man... haha...

darryl... if u are seeing this... i wish u all the best in the process of recording... when it is released i hope that the sales will be big... rem... if u are holding a concert i wan the best seat... haha... anyway... wish u success in this carrier... rem to give me ur ablum wif ur autograph on it...

2006-11-19T11:33:00.000+08:00

yesterday we had an ESS... it was a extended P&W... there was one worship song really speak to me and touched me alot... the title of the song is call Simple Gift... though the song is really short, but it's very meaningful... the lyrics goes like this...

I like You, I love You
I want all to see
Without You, Jesus there will be no me
I wish i had a symphony
But my simple gift is me

God doesnt want our money nor how capable we are... wad God wants is us... our lives... let's really give our lives to Him...

What can we give, that You have not given
And what do we have, that is not already Yours
All we possess are these lives we are living
And that's what we give to You Lord

Lord I offer my life to You
Everything I've been through
Use it for Your glory
Lord I offer my days to You
Lifting my praise to You
As a pleasing sacrifice
Lord I offer You my life

2006-11-05T12:09:00.000+08:00

it's been a really long time tat i nv update my blog... well... during these few weeks, i've really been experiencing how God has use me to do His work... there are times when i'm spiritually dry, how He refresh and renew me...

juz this week, i was talking to one of my platoon mate abt church stuff... then from there i got to know tat he has some probs wif the church politics... so as i was sharing to him, i realise tat pple are surrounding us to listen wad we are saying... they even ask qns, so there was really breakthrus...

yesterday during cell, i was being called to stay back after the cell... at first i was wondering wad was it abt... then i realise tat i'm taking up a big role... next yr we are having a big event... and i'm the event programmer and the MC... i dun mind these things... but there is a challenge... i need to give my prog by the following week... but i only have one week to plan becoz the following week i'm having field camp... oso i dun have much time to plan due to all the trainings... God... i really need ur help...

2006-10-14T15:46:00.000+08:00

juz to share wif u a testi of how God is real in my life during these 2 weeks of NS... last week had IPPT then i failed... those who failed will have to stay for RT... i was one of them, but i didnt called back for RT... then last nite there was a new list of pple who will have to stay back for RT... this time round my name was called... i was quite sad... becoz i will have to miss service... so i began to pray for RT to be cancelled... miraculasly... i was really cancelled... God is really realy in my life... and i was sharin this testimony to my non b frenz in my platoon... pray tat this will leave an impact in their lives... tat they will know tat Jesus is real to them... and they will come to know Him...

2006-09-23T10:35:00.000+08:00

From The Inside Out

A thousand times i've failed
Still Your mercy remains
Should i stumble again
Still i'm caught in Your grace
Everlasting Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending Your glory goes beyond all fame

Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself
In bringing You praise
Everlasting Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending Your glory goes beyond all fame

My heart and soul
I give You control
Consume me from the inside out
Let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Everlasting Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart
Is to bring You praise
From the inside out
Lord my soul cries out

yeah... today can go back to service again... miss AF, miss cell, miss service... basically i miss u guys alot... it's hrs away from service... cant wait to meet u guys again... cant wait to share wif u guys how God has bless me during these 2 weeks...

2006-09-06T12:39:00.000+08:00

We Lift Up Our Eyes

We lift up our eyes above the troubles
In our land and together we stand
To declare You as King

In times like this we choose to praise You
And it's You, it is You who really matters
You are worthy of our praise

And we will say that You are good
And all miracles You've done have brought us joy
For we are changed
And all the hope we have
We place in You right now

Father we declare that we love You
we declare our everlasting love for You (repeat)

2006-08-27T08:38:00.000+08:00

cant sleep the whole nite last nite... was very burden abt something... i was spending my time alone wif God last nite after tat i juz began to pray... after praying i juz sense tat something need to be done in IGNYTE... will be talking to Ps Gary tonite...

oso was burden abt the growth in AF ministry... was challenging some of the AF bros tat i know to really go and share the message wif the time they have left...

oso wanna take this time to challenge people who read my blog to really share the love of Christ in ur campuses, army camp, ur working place... our time on earth is really short... let's really have the sense of urgency...

2006-08-27T00:36:00.000+08:00

today's sermon was really powerful... it's talking abt conquering the giants... overcoming the temptations... becoz tis week i was very down... after giving in to temptations... my relationship wif God was drifted away tis week, due to the struggles i'm sturggling... from the travelling time to service to sermon, i had a heavy heart... i kept praying and praying... and but there wasnt any breakthru in it... but during sermon bro andy was preaching, God juz doing a heart surgery in me... during altar call i began to broke down and sought things out wif the Lord... and after tat there was another level of breakthru... another height of relationship wif God... i know this time round, i will be standing firm wif all the temptations tat is coming to me... becoz God is for me...

2006-08-21T02:52:00.000+08:00

kinda being disturb after reading someone's blog... well... after reading the person's blog, i find that he shldnt say this kinda stuff... he knew tat someone is talking bad abt God's pple and yet he still join in instead of asking the person tat he is talking to to stop...

well the only thing i can do is to forgive him and pray for forgiveness in him...

2006-08-20T02:34:00.000+08:00

this whole week is really a week of last minute...

on tues i was only suppose to work in the morning... but one of my colleague cant work on that nite so i have to cover him... ever since tat day i have been always very tired due to lack of sleep and working early on the next day...

on thurs morning, i receive a phone call... it was a private no... so i assume that it was my mum... so i answered i phone call... at that moment i heard a guy's voice... when the person says "hi joseph, Pastor Gary here" i immediately jump out of my bed... he was asking me to share my testimony to him... so i shared... and he told me tat i might share my testimony today... he juz ask me to wait for his call...

tat afternoon, i receive a phone call from him... he told me tat i'm confirm sharing testimony... at tat point of time i was nervous... becoz i have nv share any testimonies on stage before... not even once in Hope... when i got back home from class, immediately i went to prepare... i prepared from 12 plus until 2plus in the morning... after tat i have to do my time alone with God. by the time i finish, it was already 4... i head straight to bed as the next day i had work...

on fri, i was called back to work last min becoz one of the full timer cant work on tat day... when i reach the shop, juz finish counting the money and stuff, the head office guys and Violet came to the shop to deliver the stock... then i was like, huh??? i tot of resting... but in the end no need to rest liao... so i juz slowly take my time to finish... it took me 3 hrs to finish 3 boxes... haha...

after work, i went to the church office to meet Pastor Gary... while i was walking to the bus interchange, i saw a Bao shop... so i decided to stop and buy some things to eat... while i was at the bus interchange, i went to take a look at the screen to see wad time the bus for me to go church comes... so i saw 157 going to the berth... i ran and guess wad??? my jeans drop... becoz it was very lose... so malu right??? haha... as i met up with Pastor Gary, we not juz only talk abt my testimony... but we chatted alot of stuff... it was really a great time chatting wif him...

after meeting up wif Pastor Gary, i went to meet up wif cedric to go pitstop cafe... it was really a very fun place there... we reach there is abt 7, then we left there abt 1130... the place is really very fun... then when i reach home, it was abt 12 plus reaching 1 liao...

today i overslept due to my tiredness... and i was almost late for Z1 service... as i was on my way to service, i was praying tat my heart will be guarded tat no sin will take place in my life as i my testimony... and God spoke to me... hey... this is my story... my story of ur life... so juz speak forth of how i use u... at tat instance i start to pray for anointing so tat as i share my testimony pple will be encourage wad God has done in my life...

wow... Z1 service is really great... i actually miss those days when i'm at the high sch grp... pple are juz excited abt God... they went dancing around... then when Pastor Gary called me up to share my testimony, as i share i felt pressured becoz i was standing on the stage and the stage is not really very high... it's juz like a step only... as i was standing at the stage, in front of me there were alot of pple already... haha... but i juz gave my best to share... i can really see tat Z1 service pple are really blessed by the testimony...

during Z2 service, i juz started sharing as usual, when i ended the testimony, i saw many pple were encouraged by it... i too was encouraged... i really give God all the glory... i really dun deserve all these... but it's by His grace, i'm able to share how real God is in my life...

actually, i really want to thank God for the person who uploaded the SYF video... becoz if it is not tat person, i will not be saved and i will not be sharing my testimony... oso tat i will enter NS wif fear in my heart... everything will be meaningless... ultimately still wanna thank God for he has planned in such a way that when i will come back to Him again...

so juz really encourage and challenge those pple who read my blog to really share God's story of your life to the pple ard who have yet come to know Christ...

2006-08-14T02:53:00.001+08:00

was thinking of some things juz now... haha... well, i was thinking of these 2 bros... how much they have impacted my life... other than my shepherd...

the 1st is Melvin... yesterday the moment i reach church, i saw him... when he saw me, he actually corrected me... becoz i always sleep late then in then end i will be sick... so i was very thankful for the correction... haha... i actually miss all the corrections from jeyaraj... haha... :P well... every week during cell we will be sharing our lives... really thank God for all the sharing sessions... becoz i'm able share all my deep secrets, struggles etc... haha... gonna miss the sharing sessions for 2 weeks... haha...

the 2nd person is Andrew, Jee Seng... he's another person i can open my life to... in front of him there's nth i can hide oso... becoz we are so covenanted of each other... he's someone tat really sets my mind to thinking... juz now he smsed me to encourage me... he was oso sharing to me abt his camp... how God has use him and the prayer grp to make impacts to the pple in his bunk mates... thru all the sharings and prayers, many pple are curious, interested to join them... really thank God...

do keep me in prayers as well... have been sick for the past 2 weeks liao... really wanna serve God wif good health... i dun wan to keep on fallinn sick...

anyway... i want to go and do my TAWG liao...

2006-08-12T01:44:00.000+08:00

went for planet shakers worship conference today... well... to me it's not really as good as last yr...

juz receive my enlistment letter... i'll be enlisting on the 8 sept... which is exactly 27 days from it... i was actually very thankful... becoz God's vision in me is coming to past...

juz few weeks ago, i was praying for a vision when i'm serving the nations... and He showed me forming my own cell in my camp... praying for the land, encouraging, challenging, and reaching out to the lost sheep... and eventually the grp will grow bigger...

but there are some things, i will still be sad la... haha... going to miss my family, my cg, my shepherd and leaders... well... time flies very fast de... very soon i will see them liao... haha...

see ya soon... going to do my TAWG liao...

2006-08-09T02:51:00.000+08:00

*blink blink* time really flies... juz *blink blink* i'm working in life bookshop for 1 yr liao... juz *blink blink* i'm in trinity, in AF for 1 mth liao...

thruout this one mth i saw many breakthrus in my personal life... 1st is tat i have a deeper hunger for the Word... in the past i used to be lazy in reading the Word...

2nd, i'm more sensitive to the HS... i still rem there are times when God juz wun allow me to sleep... so i juz make use of this time to pray and HS juz reveal to me things tat i shld pray...

3rd, i've learn how to depend on God... my shepherd nv meet me for 3 weeks liao... but during this time, i learn how to depend on God... but last week he juz met me... haha...

today while waiting for bus back home... suddenly i got nose bleed... juz keep on dripping non stop... it was very scarry... oso... my hands are full of blood... i continue to let it drip then when it's dry i went to cheers to but tissue paper and to wash my hands...

but when the staff saw me, they were all shock... they keep on asking me whether am i ok... ya lor... by the time it dried, i already missed my last bus... so i walk from city hall to somerset to take nite rider home... when i reach the bus stop, i saw a SP sister... we took the same bus home... then we juz talk and share...

haha... well... today really thank God... i think it's really a blessing in disguise... becoz if i didnt nose bleed, i wun happen to meet the SP sis... and i wun be sharing how much God has change me...

haha... i'm actually miss AF now... well... i dun usually see them online everyday nor hanging out wif them... but even though we only see each other on sat... but i really enjoy every single one of their presence... well... really pray tat we will have time to spend wif each other, other than sats... yeah...

well... gtg now... see ya soon...

2006-08-05T01:33:00.000+08:00

juz came back from FOP... went wif cedric, stephen and my shepherd, kelvin... FOP was really great today... the praise and worship was great... the preaching was great too... i can really feel tat the presence of God is in indoor stadium... had some personal encounters wif God juz now...

during praise and worship, i always have a habit to look up... so juz now as i was looking up, i saw a face wif a smile... and God spoke to me tat He's please wif the praise and worship... the hearts of man are opening to God...

during the preaching, God spoke to me abt faith and memories... faith is the enemy of memories... memories is pictures of the past... while faith is abt revelation of the future... so i wan to focus on wad is ahead of me...

after FOP, kelvin went to buy CCC latest album... and melvin oso smsed me reminding me abt the PM on sun... then after tat kelvin ask me to share wif him how was FOP today... not long after melvin called me... we chatted and he ask me whether if kelvin bought any CDs.. i told him yes... then he wanted to ask me to ask kelvin to lend him... but haha... kelvin juz said on the phone tat he will not lend him de (in a joking way)... and melvin was shocked... haha...

then juz now i was on my way home wif my shepherd... we were chatting... i was really refreshed by the sharing... well we dun really meet up every week... in fact he nv meet me for 1 mth liao... but every time i go back wif him, i'll make sure that i suck things out from him... haha... juz now we were chatting abt discipleship... and depending on leaders... and individual growth...

juz this week, i was seeking God... i was asking God... God, wad U wan me to be in AF... i dun wan to be juz receiving only... i wan to serve U... then God showed me wad i'm going to be in AF... i saw myself leading a cell, imparting the WOG... i saw how the lives of pple are opened, changed... everyone is juz encouraging each other... and God spoke to me that harvest will come thru me... i dunno how is it going to be done... when will it come to past... i really look forward to this day...

well... i'm in AF for abt a mth liao... other than my shepherd... the other person whom i can really relate to is melvin... becoz he knows my heart beat... he knows my struggles... and every time i chatted wif him either on the phone or msn... he nv fails to speak into my life... we oso nv fail to encourage and challenge each other... really wanna thank God for the both of u... i'm really blessed them...

yeah... gonna go prepare for gel tml's cg... then gonna do my TAWG... after tat go koon... muahahaha... tml will be another exciting day... yeah... nitez everyone...

2006-07-30T03:04:00.000+08:00

wow... really had a great time chatting wif melvin... was quite dry in my spiritual life due to some reason... but really wanna thank God for him... and i was refreshed by him...

ha... havent been blogging for a very long time liao... have been blessed by God this week... on tues i was down wif fever and having some problems in releasing bowel... well it's not constipation but juz dunno why cant release bowels... i prayed and i went to the doc... and was healed the next day...

oso was blessed by God wif the result for my music sch test... i'm the top in class again... yay... this time round is 6 more marks to full marks... well... gonna work harder to score full marks...

do pray for me to see pple coming to know God thru me... i haben see visitors from myself for a very very very very long time le... i wan to have breakthru, i wanna see revival in myself... do pray wif me these 3 names... Darryl, Rui Qiang and Jonathan... that they will cross the line of faith... this coming week... God... i'm really desperate for it... GIVE IT TO ME!!!!!!!!!

2006-07-19T15:15:00.000+08:00

sian... this sat have to work... somemore in parkway... from parkway to adam road very far leh... some more no direct bus... dun wanna take cab becoz wanna save money... have been taking cab like everyday... have to try ask my colleague to cover me back... haha...

2006-07-19T04:27:00.000+08:00

cant sleep now... very excited of wad is to come... juz now i was praying for a bro... as he is enlisting on fri... bro... juz to let u know tat God is wif thru the tough times and oso the good times... so take joy in God ya??? will tell u more on the phone... haha...

yeah... phone will be back today... haha... but this time round i muz be wise in using my phone le... if not will die in paying phone bill le... haha... well one thing i learn juz now in my TAWG... if u wanna be a leader, we muz be a good steward in our lives... everything that we have, we muz learn how to manage it properly... becoz if we dun, next time when we are entrust wif other things, will oso zhuo bu hao de...

yeah... take care and God bless... see ya on the next entry... :)

2006-07-18T02:06:00.000+08:00

wah... recently have been very tired... dunno why oso... every time i travel, i will be sleeping... hmmm... maybe it's becoz of my sleeping habit ba... haha... will change de...

sad... chiang wee will be enlisting in 3 days time... today he juz went to shave his hair... haha... hmmm... wonder how he looks like now... haha... :P... well bro... God is wif u in this 2 yrs... no matter how tough it is, he will carry u thru de... God is our strength...

haha... yesterday went back home wif my shepherd... haha... we alighted at the same stop.. haha... how good it is to have a shepherd who live very near u... then can travel back together... then meet up for shepherding will be easier oso... haha... ya anyway... when we alighted at boon lay station, we parted from each other... before wanting to take bus back home, i wanted to go to the gents 1st...

as i went in, i realise that something is very different... 1st there wasnt any standing cubicles, 2nd the floor is very clean and 3rd there is no one in the toilet... before i started to pee... in the end i find that something is very strange... something's not right... so i ran out and guess wad??? i went into the ladies... i was so pai seh ah... but after tat i immediately ran into the gents... wa lau... this is my 1st time in a ladies...

shepherd... really thank God for ur life... u have done so much for me... really thank God... i pray that God will strengthened you in wadeva u do... yeah...

anyway... gtg liao... wanna have my TAWG...

2006-07-17T01:13:00.000+08:00

today is really a tiring day but a blessed day too... i saw 4 of my sec sch frenz came into LBS... 2 of them in NS and the other 2 studying...

when i saw them i was surprise becoz haven been seeing them ever since i graduate... so we chatted and found out that they still haben accepted Christ into their lives... i really thank God becoz they have softened their hearts towards... in the past i always invite them for service, share Christ to them they nv respond one... but God did a miracle in their lives... do pray for me for their salvation(wenda, eileen, rui qiang and jonathon)...

after work i rush down to ECP to witness my ex sheep water baptize... i really thank God for that... after challenging and finally responded...

then after that went to Joshua's place to celebrate his 21st bdae... supposingly meeting kelvin 7pm at YCK station... but he wasnt there... i decided to call him... but he nv pick up... so i called chiang wee instead... so from him i got to know that kelvin is actually at joshua's place already... thank God it's very near to the mrt station... if not i will get lost de...

upon arriving at joshua's place... there were alot of pple... chiang wee and some others they were playing munchkin... so i chatted wif other bros and sis there... and surprisingly they know my name before i intro to them... but until now i still cant rem their names... haha... need some time to rem la... then we had fun time throwing pple down the water... haha... happy bdae Joshua again...

anyway wanna go do my twag liao...

2006-07-16T01:36:00.000+08:00

wow... today's service was great... praise and worship to the teaching... everything was great

today's sermon was abt carrying the cross and dying to the seed... basically it's talking abt being a disciple of Jesus... i felt that the whole sermon is juz for me... i responded and tears juz started to flow down from my eyes... i wanna be a disciple for Jesus...

had to miss cell today becoz needa go back to sch for some recruitment talk... after the talk... went to starhub to meet the DI north pple... well frankly speaking... i miss them ever since i left hope... went to have dinner wif them... so after dinner i went back to adam road to join my cell grp to meet them for dinner...

today i got to know more AF cell members... yay!!! they are really a bunch of fun pple... some of us we have the same passion... which is singing... haha... yup... well... i can say that i love to be in AF cell... but most importantly, i have to be in the KOG... :)

went home wif my SP today... as i was on my way home wif him, somehow i felt that he was kinda bothered... and along the way, i can see him keep on praying... then i wanted to ask him wad happen... but he told me himself... i left without saying anything... but when i got home and use the com... i juz encouraged and prayed for him oso...

well last nite i couldnt sleep at all... i was kinda bothered by something... but i dunno wad am i being bothered by... i began to ask God... well... i think becoz i was sensitive to wad God wanna tell me... i keep on telling him that i wanna sleep becoz i need to work the next morning... so today God revealed to me thru tat incident... but i wanna thank God for using me to be a support to my shepherd, CL...

then juz now i was talking to melvin... wah... he's really a nice bro to talk wif... he know's tat i like singing alot... so he was asking me whether i know how to play any instruments... so i told him that i know how to play the guitar... and he replied great... i was like ???... so he told me that actually AF needs guitarist... becoz all the guitarist are serving in NS... so they cant really play... and then i'm the most available one... so AF is blessed by God for another guitarist...

tml it's joshua's bdae... my suppose to be shepherd... haha... well... nvm abt tat... anyway HAPPY BDAE JOSHUA... haha... officially an adult liao... haha... opps... :P haha... well.. hehe... nth much to say... haha...

ok la... gtg and spend my time wif God le... take care... God Bless... :)

2006-07-14T15:18:00.000+08:00

went to meet my SP yesterday... i really enjoyed the meet up... though we didnt have any teachings... but i was really very blessed... i really thank God for my SP... there are some things tat he did that i was very touched...

the first was yesterday during the meet up... he pass me a disc... at 1st i didnt know wad's in that disc... but after that he told me... he went to compile all the Joshua Harries sermons... i was very touched by it... though i haben start watching but will watch it tonite...

another thing was that becoz i juz attending TCC.. so i dunno anyone there except my SP... so i was very worried that i might not able to adapt there... but he gave my msn to some of the other AF member...

so 2 nights ago we had a conference msn... even our beloved pastor, Pastor Gary came into the conversation... but he left in a while's time... haha... now i found something that i can relate to the AF members... that is munchkin... muahahahaha...

i really thank God for my SP and the rest of the AF members for helping me to adapt in this fun, enthusiastic and vibrant grp...

2006-07-12T22:23:00.000+08:00

yeah... tml will be my 1st shepherding wif my SP... yeah... looking forward to it... havent receive shepherding for very long time liao... i wanna grow... grow like nv before...

2006-07-12T02:11:00.000+08:00

Wondering... wondering... wondering... i wonder who is my S.P... well... S.P stands for spiritual parent... yep... my cell leader still hasnt tell me yet... gonna pester him for it liao... kekekeke.... gtg... take care and God bless...